By Frances H. Bryce, Philadelphia, PA October 17, 2019 — I recently witnessed a family of four — mother, father, 4 or 5-year-old, and an infant in the care of the mother, in an infant carrier. They were standing not far from me as I waited for a bus to take me home.
I sat and then noticed that the 5-year-old was hitting the mother in a continuous matter. I guess he was upset because things were not going his way or his wishes were ignored. My thoughts ran the gamut. He will stop, or one of the parents will tell him this behavior will not be tolerated. The “see something, say something” [policy] kicked in with my training as a parent educator when he continued to pound his mother as she did not stop him and the father did not intervene.
I approached the father and asked, “Why do you allow the child to keep hitting his mother?” I don’t know if he replied to my question, and I must admit I did not wait for an answer but posed the same question as to why she would allow the young child to continue to hit her. She began to offer an answer, that I interrupted and said no matter why, you must stop this action, because this will be the pattern he will use when he is not giving in to his wishes, and a continuation of this behavior could lead to where he is no longer a young child and will be a problem when you will be the victim and unable to defend yourself. She said, “Thank you.” I returned to my space on the bench as we waited for the bus. They took a seat in the back, I in the front.
The interesting thing when I approached the parents about the child’s behavior, he stopped hitting and looked at me with the knowing eye of a child when they realize an action had taken place, that they were aware of as unacceptable behavior.