By Carole Kuiken, October 8, 2019 — Growing up, I never really prioritized getting dolled up and making myself look and feel glamorous. I eloped when I was 17 years old and didn’t even bother wearing a dress. I had my first daughter at 19 and my second at 21. From then on my identity was their mother. It seemed at the time selfish to want to do something with the intention of making myself noticed because to me life was about my kids and making sure they always felt beautiful both inside and out.
I had a very brutal divorce with the father of my children when they were 9 and 11. I raised them completely on my own with zero help both financially [and with parenting] – he was for the most part an absent father until the girls were in their twenties.
When both of my daughters got married they both, traditionally, had their father walk them down the aisle. Of course I supported their decision in doing this being that it was their wedding and it is the father of the bride’s job to do so, but it never occurred to me how much it would mean to me if I was the one they chose to do the job. My youngest daughter many years later was to be married for a second time and I had never even thought about the fact that I could play a role in her special day until she not only asked me to give her away at the altar, but do do a mother daughter dance instead of her father. Even though this was her special day, she made it mine too. She honored me in a way that I didn’t even know I deserved. From the dress I wore, to the way I had my hair done, to the compliments I received, I have never felt more beautiful and loved than I did that day. It really felt amazing to not only have my daughter recognize that she wanted me to perform such a monumental task, but I felt absolutely beautiful in the process.