By Jose Dominguez, March 21, 2019 — When I do something against my conscience, there are options: I can continue as if nothing happened, or I can do something about it. But what to do about it. If I damaged the other person, I will have to ask for pardon. But a simple word “pardon” is not enough. I think I will have to recognize my fault with my excuses face to face and try to repair the damage. Nevertheless, life is not so simple. I will write some situations that I experienced related with pardons.
My first encounter with asking for pardon was when I was 6 years old and I was attending a Catechism class with a very gentle, but strict old maid named Snort Claudia. She was instructing me on the basics of Catholicism because my mother, who was a convinced religious person, wanted for us to be good Catholics. After finishing my studies, I will be prepared to submit my first verbal confession to a priest and after the priest’s pardon, I will be ready for my first communion. By that, I will say it means to have the soul clean to receive the body of Christ. Now I have that clear image, but at my short age of 6, I thought that it was like going to school, receive a class and memorize to pass a test because I didn’t want problems with my teacher, my parents, or with God. Imagine. I don’t know where my moral conscious was before because I didn’t understand how the 10 Commandments applied to my insipid and tentative infancy. Nevertheless, I acknowledged wrongdoing trying to put on words some of my deviant behaviors or trying to imagine myself doing wrong things often, offending God, my parents, and society and later asking for pardon. Pardon of what? Well, I learned also some general wrongdoings that helped me to cover the procedure in my infantile language. I learned to say: “I had had dirty thoughts,” “I have said dirty words,” “I have lied,” “I have been lazy,” etc. Perhaps, I convinced the priest of my sins and mostly of my repentance that solemnly gave the absolution since then, I have several tasks in my life.
What does my conscience say?
Do I repent of my wrongdoings?
If I do, do I have the courage to face the victim of my actions?
Have I made the real repair to the victim of my conduct?