By Ann von Dehsen, January 09, 2020 — Sadly, I recently learned that my cousin had passed away from a rare form of thyroid cancer. We had lost touch over the years, only seeing each other very occasionally usually at relatives’ funerals where we had to behave like grown-ups. I say this because as very young children we were close playmates, particularly during holidays.
My family went to his house on Christmas where I would enjoy playing with his “boy” toys of trains, trucks, and soldiers. Often, he would come back to our house where he enjoyed playing with my dolls, pretend kitchen, and pretend food. As we got a little older, we would volunteer to clear the table after large holiday dinners. Once in the kitchen, we would sip the remains of left-over cocktails we had just cleared.
During summer family picnics we’d go in the woods to practice smoking cigarettes without coughing while discussing rumored dirty lyrics of Rolling Stone songs. Our favorite escape, however, took place during his older brother’s wedding held in a large banquet hall that housed many events. We became bored with talking to distant relatives and decided to explore the venue. We heard a lot of music and laughter coming from a room down the hall. The doors were open, so we wandered in and soon realized we had stumbled into a very celebratory Bar Mitzvah.
There was a huge buffet desert table and a nice woman offered us plates and told us to help ourselves. So, we did, over and over again. People were very friendly, and a few asked us how we knew the Bar Mitzvah boy to which we replied we were distant cousins. Feeling quite welcome we eventually joined in the dancing, particularly enjoying the Horah.
As things began to quiet down, we went back to his brother’s wedding, where apparently, no one had missed us. This always remained our secret but at future family events when someone would propose a toast of “to your health” we would always say “L’Chaim” instead.
