By José Dominguez, August 20, 2020 — All things happened when my mom was about 75 years old more or less. How she survived living alone in that rented apartment for 10 or more years after this happened, well the only explanation is that she was a very special person for sure. I do not know if I under the same circumstances could lead a decent life as she lived. I just don’t know.
Let me tell you a few attributes to demonstrate my mom’s personality. She had a realistic idea of each one of her 6 sons and what to expect and what not to expect from us. Nevertheless, she managed to attend each Sunday’s Mass, be an active member of a high society’s ladies club named Botón Rojo to buy groceries, and visit almost all her sons’ houses except one. Her permanent companions were my father’s dear memories and her faith in God that treasured family until the last moment of her life.
One Saturday morning I went to her apartment to take her to buy groceries she received me with a super great smile, “Let me tell you Pepito, I had a very interesting visit that gave me a big joy. Well, two days ago, your brother Ramon came to visit me. I was so excited that I expressed to him my happy feelings spontaneously, but noticed that Ramon was not answering or following my remarks. So, I stopped and told him ‘What’s happening with you Ramoncito? Why are you so quiet? Why don’t you want to speak with me?’ He refused to answer my question and at last opted to tell me, ‘Mother, I don’t want to speak words of men.’ I knew that he was referring to speaking the words of God. I didn’t have problems with that but I was sure that there are many other things to speak about not necessarily those words. So I insisted, ‘No Ramoncito, we can speak about many other things, for example about the weather, about nature, about little birds, the butterflies etc.’ I guess I didn’t convince him because he left a few moments later. Nevertheless, the visit gave me great pleasure.
I do not know what the cause he was thinking. I do not approve of his personal decision to be Christian and to accept Jesus with such passion. But you know he was really a mess. I cried over him many, many, many times. I prayed for the intercession of my favorite Saint, Saint Judas the Saint of the lost causes to show him a new path so he will find happiness and peace. But nothing happened. The struggle went for years, many years of bitterness and praying. He and Roberta, his wife, turned their eyes to the word and they were born again.
I guess he was baptized, I think even when I think he didn’t need it. He didn’t need the ceremony because he was already baptized. But born again for sure he was. In reality, he was different. He was not the person he used to be. In that was he was another person. Re-baptized or not it was for him the beginning of a new life. I am not sure if Saint Judas intercession could be a miracle or perhaps it was due to the many prayers of several other persons. But Ramoncito was a new person. Not necessarily as I wanted. I prayed and the Saints I prayed to God and the Saints for changing him. I didn’t pray so he would pay me a visit. However, each one of his visits rejuvenates my soul. I didn’t ask for Ramon’s love, which I hold so dearly. I didn’t pray for wishes to come true or my small poor and poor cravings. You know, my opinions are not important. As Ramon correctly said, ‘They are only words of a man, words of a lonely mother.’
Nevertheless, nobody knows the ways of God. What is important is that he’s happy enjoying his life and his family. I am not important, my words are insignificant. Every day my life diminishes. Every day the circle of my life is smaller and smaller. Oh, I am not sure if my tears and prayer were taken into account, but I don’t care. Even when he doesn’t believe in it or even when he doesn’t know my feelings or thoughts, he’s alright that way. As we say in Spanish, ‘No me lo muevan. El esta muy bien ahí.’ Meaning: ‘Don’t move it please. He is very well the way he is right now.’”