By Cynthia Morihara, August 6, 2020 — I live with my son and daughter-in-law and two grandchildren. It is a nice arrangement. Our house is large and I get to watch my grandchildren grow up. In addition to being an on-call babysitter, the family uses me as a live-in housekeeper. I do dishes, laundry, clean floors and bathrooms, and take out the garbage.
Because I take psych meds and see a psychiatrist, I am mandated to check in with a social worker once a month. Janie Medeiros, who is a social worker with the Delaware County Professional Services, has been instrumental in helping me adjust to living with my children. She tells me to be positive and not to be critical when talking to them. In fact, she advised me to write down positive things I say during the day in a journal. My journal contains things like, “I like that haircut, you look beautiful in that dress, the dinner was delicious, and you are a great mother.”
I try my utmost, being the oldest member of the household, to show my maturity, patience, and level-headedness. But I find that I need to depend on outside relationships to stay balanced.
My son and daughter-in-law are busy. They each have jobs and when the children are not in daycare, they take total charge of the children’s meals and activities. Being so busy, they have little time to gab with me. Thus, I find myself on the phone or immersed in study to pass the time. Reaching out to people is very important to me. I send notecards to old friends almost daily. In addition to notecards, I send birthday cards. When I go to the Dollar Tree, I carefully choose enough cards for friends and family members that have birthdays in the following month.
Some people really appreciate the notes and cards that I send. In fact, my sister-in-law from Los Angeles and I have become regular pen pals. Also, I know that a lot of my senior friends who have been shut in during this COVID-19 pandemic are happy to have a greeting from me now and then.
Living together as an extended family is a wonderful experience. It helps to have spaces for individual privacy within the house. Relationships within the house must be nurtured lovingly. Outside help is sometimes needed. But most of all, correspondence and journal writing are important to remain in touch with my feelings and my friends.