By Victoria Huggins Peurifoy, Lead Facilitator
The Best Day of My Life So Far at Center in the Park
Philadelphia, PA
When our group started on September 23, 2014, for me it was with curiosity and concerns. I questioned, how the group would be, what the personalities would be like, would the participants be willing to tell the world their story via an online blog. As the Center in the Park’s first session began, the questions buzzed all through my mind. I was also nervous as a new facilitator for this new group. I didn’t know how many people to expect and I didn’t know what was going to happen. But let me tell you, we had 14 people in attendance. Everyone was enthusiastic, everyone wanted to write, and everyone truly had a story to tell. Our growth from the beginning was amazing. We began with about 14 steady members and grew to about 18 participants, all of whom had a lot to say.
There was a transformation in attitudes toward young people. We had a young man join our group (40ish) who loved to write and was interested in the story writing process. The young man formed a strong alliance with the older men in the group. He said, “I have learned so much from talking to them and listening as well.” I believe this was a natural exercise of respect on his and their part. Many times I watched their interactions unfold. It was beautiful. Almost as if grandfathers were schooling a grandchild. It built their confidence and satisfied a need to tell their stories and go into depth. He often stayed after class to continue his conversation with them. The impact of this group is that, this is an outing to which they look forward. A new participant, Angela Wright, who had just retired said, “I find that this activity is what I need. I am with other retirees who led very active and fulfilling lives and this is encouraging to me.”
All of the volunteers were fantastic. After their basic training to become co-facilitators or copy editors, they jumped into their duties with vim and vigor. Pat Schogel (co-facilitator) always had the room set up with writing pads, pen, the roster and any other flyers with announcements. She genuinely enjoyed her task and she did them well. When I couldn’t be in a session, our second co-facilitator, Ronald Dove, took over and really impressed the participants with his ability to run the session. Everyone said, “He was good…he kept us to task just like you do.” Our copy-editors RuNett Nia Ebo Gray, has been with us from the beginning. She has developed a method of getting through the stories, especially with participants whose handwriting is somewhat challenging. She will call them, when she runs into a problem, to clarify what it was that they were trying to convey. She said, “One of my best days was agreeing to participate. I did not know what to expect, but the reward has been listening to all the stories. They bring back so many memories.” Geneva Mathis was another one of our original copy editors. We also gained two new copy editors Diane Bush and LeTretta Jones.
As I reflect on my own life while participating in this group, they have pulled the best of me out of my inner spirit. When I first joined Best Day of My Life So Far, I had recently written my own autobiography and didn’t know if there were any more stories in me. However, listening to the stories of others, I realized that there were still plenty of stories within. The group has honed in my dry sense of humor and willingness to compromise. Every week I heard, “Can we have five more minutes?” Sometimes they even want prompts from me, but what I have found is that they help one another by shouting out possible story lines, which often jog their memories. This is such a cohesive group; that all I have to do is enjoy them with my mind wide open. My transformation has been to always be open, expect anything, listen closely without interjection, and to be curious. I say this because, each person brings their own personality, pains, triumphs, accomplishments in life and a general savvy for living their senior years to the fullest. You can’t do anything but respect them for that.
The main advice that I would give any group, especially new ones starting up is, Don’t stress. All of the concerns that you could possibly have can and will be answered. Get to know the personalities within the group. Recognize when a person needs help. Never be so consumed in what you are doing that you don’t observe obvious situations that need to be addressed. Example: One of the participants in our group became so emotional while trying to read her story; that she could not read what she had written. So I had an opportunity to show empathy, give her a hug, and stand next to her to console her. She asked me to read what she had written because her emotions were so strong. It is difficult to read when you’re crying. Have fun with your group. Become a good listener, if you are not one already. Sometimes the written stories can be long. Know the strengths of your copy editors and which stories to give them. Turn a Web-party into a real party that everyone can enjoy, interact, and have fun. Lastly, go with the flow, everything will run smoother than you think. The blessing for me is that the Center in the Park director, Lynn Fields Harris, Co-Program Director, Alicia Garrison and our Volunteer Coordinator, Diane Tucker have been a big help ensuring that any need we had were satisfied. Support is also an important key.